This is the little sugar coated bandaide we apply to our hearts when it has been too long. An easy saying, an easy meaning, but a hard truth.
As I write this, it has been nearly a week since I heard my husband's voice. I have gotten some emails, but nothing compares to his voice. I miss it, and from time to time I wonder if I will recognize it when I hear it again. Silly I know, because it has only been a week.
The phone rings, as I run to it, my eyes play tricks on me and the caller ID almost convinces my heart that it is him. My heart begins to beat out of my chest, then I realize it is just some damn creditor looking for the lady "Dee Polk" who continues to use my number to make bad decisions. Thanks lady! You have no idea of the scope of your carelessness I am sure. One day I hope to run into you.
I suffer from an addiction to my computer that isn't funny. We do this tango. It gets a half hour of down time, and then there I am...stalking it again. This gives new meaning to the phrase "cyber stalker".
If there was ever anything that could bring out my dependent personality traits, it is a deployment. I am generally independent and strong, but for 12 months (or whatever the Army deems appropriate) I become a nervous nelly. I don't sleep but maybe 4-6 hours a night, I drink LOTS of coffee, and more alcohol than usual.
What keeps me from just becoming a psycho cyber stalking alcoholic? Strength, tiny day to day goals, and sugar coated brainwashing statements like...
no news is good news.
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